Compete Less, Win More!

It’s been a while since I rambled, I am on the verge of starting a vacation, why not start with some rumination. I have been flipping through bits and pieces of Adlerian psychology. The article contains few related thoughts from similar readings.

Alfred Adler puts community as the one central thing to humans. His definition of a community is not confined to people sharing a neighbourhood, interest, or profession, but it encompasses everything and everyone: plants, minerals, or animal across the entire universe. He advocates that each one of us should be able to find fulfillment through considering ourselves as part of this massive community.

Adler is not alone, Carl Jung, believed that all humans shared the same mind, and he coined the term “collective unconsciousness” to describe it. He blames the distinct human body that we possess makes us believe that we are different beings.

Adler further talks that as soon as an individual starts to fit himself into this grand scheme, he will begin to act differently. He will pay heed to more, care more, and worry less. He mentions that these changes occur because we eventually realize we’re not the center of the universe, but an insignificant, imperfect unit of it.

The significant obstacle, thus according to him, is the sense of self, or the ego, that comes between us and our happiness.

Ego is the sense of our identity and is perceived through our accomplishments, backgrounds, and material possessions. The roots of this individualism lie in how society functions and how humans are raised.

We have gotten used to transacting in the fear-based economy. We’re taught to value better grades than being kind to our peers as only naive people are kind and loving. We’re told that if we’re kind to others, it’s only a matter of time before we’ll be taken advantage of.

This fear is a vicious circle, it only gets worse with age, we set up emotional guards that prevent us from being capable of platonic or romantic love. The endless possibilities of accidents and potential dangers turn fear into a constant thought.

When we look around, we realize society promotes progress through competition. Competition only gets fierce after school, grown-ups battle for more lucrative jobs, bigger cars, reputation, and luxuries. Competitive mindsets are exceptionally harmful to the mental well-being.

Competition on the surface appears to be a zero-sum game — victory for one is loss for the other. Since nobody likes to be a loser, we tend to develop a rivalry with our fellow humans. People who lose are looked down upon, and those who win, are under tremendous pressure to continue their winning streak. It punishes both in different ways though, and in reality competition is a negative-sum game — all the participants are punished.

The human mind seasoned through constant fear, competition, and rivalry thus learns to value accomplishments, possessions, and obsession. It associates them to a strong identity of self, which becomes the ego. A healthy life can only occur when we learn to be kind, learn to love, and unlearn to look at our peers as impediments to our success.

The world will be a better place when we stop living in fear and learn to be kind and realise that we are all part of a united force. The possible cure to the deeply-rooted insecurity, anxiety, and competition

All of this is possible when we embrace insignificance and let go of our strong sense of self. When we look at self, we realize that it is nothing more than a bundle of disjointed thoughts and experiences.

The great philosopher David Hume says that ego is the trick of the mind, he developed the idea that ego is not a stable entity. He said that our minds are not constant, they’re an amalgamation of passing ideas, thoughts, and emotions.

He felt that his sense of self always emerged with a sensation or emotion, such as cold, heat, fear, joy, love, and hate. He could not experience himself without any sensation or feeling. He thus concluded, that there is no self. Ego tries to create a sense of identity out of these haphazard perceptions.

Ego is the story that our minds tell about who we are, which we usually refer to as the “I.” The “I” created by the stream of consciousness that feels, thinks, and forms opinions — is not who we are. The true “I” is the I who can observe all of it from outside, rather than be trapped in it.

Releasing the strong sense of self, with which we identify ourselves with, is not an easy job. But the matter of fact is that this stems from fear, and leads to anxiety, insecurity, and discontent. When we train to discern thought and awareness, leads us to a state where we are conscious but with fewer thoughts and more peace.

The famous neuroscientist Susan Greenfield illustrates that humans can perceive themselves as individuals, groups, and also as “nobody.” It happens when we indulge in dancing, music, or laughter. When we intensely laugh, sing, or dance, we’re engaging in the same activity that affirms our place within the larger community.

While we may feel like we know “who we are,” we must first realize, knowing about ourselves, is not the same as knowing ourselves. Philosophy, Psychology, Neuroscience, and Religion make a case that self is an illusion, at any instant, our thoughts, emotions, and experiences playing with our share of the stream of consciousness.

Be nobody, love more, care more, be kind, laugh, dance, sing, compete less, and win more.