To Be or To Become

What is usually preferred to be talked about?

• A degree from Harvard or being a student of a particular discipline.
• A Rolls-Royce or ease and convenience of mobility.
• Funding and valuation of a startup or its impact at large.
• A job at Apple or contribution to a certain piece of a project.

Over the last few weeks, I have been pondering over the dichotomy between status and wealth and reading things around it.

Simply put, wealth is one’s intrinsic abundance of skills, knowledge, capital, experience, or assets. Status ideally is a projection of wealth. Society treats the two very differently and usually the race is for the latter, not the former.

Status games like the competition is a zero-sum game — for every winner, there is a loser, for someone high there needs to be someone below. Pursuing wealth is a positive-sum game, it is value creation for all the stakeholders.

For the short-sighted eye, we have invented glasses, so that they can see. Unfortunately, there is no cure for the herd mentality that prefers shallow brilliance over imperfect lustre. For the mind that feels significance and joy in accomplishments and belongings there could be a better alternative — just being.

Let us first dig into the roots of the consumerist mindset. Psychologists find that those in affluent societies chase want to kill boredom. Sociologists reason that the “relativity of wants” leads people to chase something their kins already have, or in some cases to distinguish themselves possess that no one else has.

Capitalism acts as a catalyst for this insatiability of wants. The capitalistic competitive market drives firms to produce new products with shiny new features and manufacture new needs through marketing.

Back in the 1970s, an average American used to see 600 ads per day[1] fast forward to 2021 the number is expected to be between 6000 to 10000. A new car is shown to make you more successful, a smartphone to make you more productive, a university to give you global exposure, and a fat pay-check, on and forth. There are instant solutions for everything.

Under capitalism, the argument goes, it’s every man for himself. The severe perversion of the perpetual desire for more has produced anxiety, depression, and addiction levels like never before. To be able to successfully compete and stand tall when compared to the next has left the whole, isolated and empty.

Machiavelli around 500 years ago started documenting the pursuit of personal wealth as a means to govern people and attain social freedom. Adam Smith argued that free competition would serve the public best as if to be guided by an “invisible hand”. Smithian economics encouraged selfishness as a virtue to a thriving social life. This followed the industrial revolution making the rich wealthier at the cost of a mass crying in desolation.

For the Descartes of today, the argument goes — “I have therefore I am”.

Let us shift from the macro to the individual plane. At an individual level, it might appear that greed is the root cause of it all. Thinking a little further the individuals who have earned and saved it all for even generations to come are still in the run. There must be more to it than just greed.

Status is about having your existence find an affirmation in the eyes of others. This is a necessity when we are unsure of our own worth. If people laugh at our jokes, the confidence of being funny grows. If people turn their backs, the feeling of worthlessness grows. This leaky, fragile modern self-esteem needs constant fuelling of validation by means of external approval and admiration.

Status does not occur in isolation, it is always compared from a reference group. The level of suffering increases once the median affluence of reference surpasses that of ours, leading to a constant struggle for more. As our goals expand, our expectations from ourselves expand, and left unattained our potential for humiliation too finds an expansion.

Where does all of it end? When can one achieve a stable mind free of anxiety, peer-pressure, and unwanted expectations?

Legend has it that, Alexander the Great visited Corinth in 5th Century B.C., philosopher Diogenes dressed in rags was sitting underneath a tree. Looking onto him Alexander asked, if he could be of some help, to which Diogenes replied, the king should step aside as he was blocking his sunshine. Alexander let reason prevail over emotion and remarked, if he’d not been Alexander, he’d rather be Diogenes.

“Art is criticism of life”, said Matthew Arnold. He meant by this that there are things about life worth criticizing, including our approach to status.

The wise have always questioned the status quo and pondered deeply upon why they value, what they value. Philosophers have used reason to assess the judgment of others instead of blindly accepting the common perception.

To eliminate the status phobia, the Romans have followed Memento Mori, Egyptians built the great pyramids, the Buddhists practice “maranasati” or death awareness, the Catholics remember shortness “O Remember how short my time is.” Psalm 89:47.

Plato’s Phaedo introduces the idea that the proper practice of philosophy is “about nothing else but dying and being dead”. Seneca wrote Shortness of Life, Aurelius, Epictetus all have sung praises in remembrance of death, not to induce anxiety but to fill ourselves with vigour to live more.

The constant emphasis on the reminder of death across all major schools is also for the reason to ensure that we come to terms with our insignificance and that of others. Everyone including us is ultimately unimportant. We can leverage this relative insignificance to stop fearing the “somebodies” and accept “nobodies” as equals and celebrate everything that keeps us together.

Aristotle defined euzen(eu = to, zen = consciousness) or the good life as the telos(moral end) to a human’s life. It is a life lived in public, with leisure in politics and philosophy to be conducted for their sake. His economics was limited to the material subsistence of households.

For him and his fellow greeks leisure was not relaxation and rest, but a free activity with the purpose to learn about arts, philosophies, and morals. Aristotle stated that there is no telos for a life centered around wealth for there is always more money to be had.

Around 1815 after Napolean’s fall, the bourgeoisie first came into prominence, they saw material achievement as the height of greatness. Shortly, the bohemians rose to oppose almost everything the bourgeoisie stood for, challenging traditional ideas of who deserved status and for what reason. The bohemians valued sensitivity and devotion to art with a minimalistic life-style. They spent their time in communities of people who shared their value system.

The celebrated American writer Henry David Thoreau embodied the bohemian ideal by keeping his life simple, seeking a few possessions, and focused his energy on becoming more attuned to nature.

Being is about raising the level of our awareness to experience the beauty, joy, wonder, serenity, mystery, vastness, intricacies, and depth in the purest of its forms. These moments of peak experience are crucial points of self-actualization. Research suggests that peak experiences induce a sense of purpose, make relationships more satisfying, reduce anxiety, and is great for mental health and overall well-being.

One needs to stop the mindless material chase to experience realms beyond the transient. One can’t become without being. To be is to exist beautifully, and to become is to evolve consciously.

If Shakespeare were alive today, he’d have rather written: “To Be is to Become” :)

Footnotes :

There are four pre-requisites for the constituents of euzen

1. They are universal. eg. harmony
2. They are not a means but an end to themselves. eg. community
3. They are self-sufficient. eg. deep friendship
4. They are indispensable. eg. health

The Problem

1. Confining our identity to our possessions.
2. Competing for power, and profit.
3. Chasing pleasure to satisfy fleeting desires. The current happiness depends on the next big thing which is just a possibility.

The Solution

1. Simply being in one’s state, no one can deprive us of it.
2. To be able to appreciate things without possessing them.
3. Express oneself with his ability to love, create, share, and reason.

Greenwich Village, Montparnasse, and Bloomsbury are the most famous bohemian enclaves.

[1] — https://www.cbsnews.com/news/cutting-through-advertising-clutter/